Five Times John Saw Elizabeth Topless
by Come Lady Death
Summary: Written for LJ's otl fest in honor of the great Doctor Elizabeth Weir. Prompt 36: Five times John saw Elizabeth topless. Pretty self-explanatory.


**1. Accident at the beach**

The first time John Sheppard saw Elizabeth Weir topless was also the first time he saw her. Period. Neither of them remember this, and if you were to ask they would tell you they met for the first time at Stargate Command. This is not entirely true.

Years before he even heard of wormholes, aliens, and travel to other worlds through a big round ring, John Sheppard was a cadet in the Air Force Academy. He was charming his way through his first year, spending spring break at the beach with his pals. That was the first time he saw Elizabeth Weir.

Well, truthfully, what he saw was a pretty young woman and her boyfriend. She was tall with a lovely figure that was tastefully revealed by her shorts and string bikini top. Her auburn hair was half-up in a messy ponytail that was falling down all over the place. Her boyfriend, a singularly unimpressive specimen in John's expert opinion, brushed a strand out of her eyes and she laughed. Sheppard smiled; she was remarkable.

As John watched, two young boys ran up behind the woman and stealthily slipped the knots on her top. They tore off down the beach, laughing as the young woman's bikini fell gently to the ground. John's eyebrows climbed skyward. So it got nicer. The woman's face went red and she immediately dropped to her knees to retrieve her lost covering. Her boyfriend laughed and re-tied her knots.

John thought that if he was the boyfriend of a woman like that, he would go after those punks and make them eat sand and apologize. She didn't deserve a boyfriend who would just laugh it off. She deserved to be taken care of. At least, that's what he thought.

Too bad he'd never get the chance to find out if he was right.

* * *

**2. Coffee**

"I can't take it anymore!"

That had to be McKay. Only McKay's voice could carry across the entire tower. John Sheppard strolled down to the lab from whence the outburst had sprung. Best go see what had the scientist in a snit now. As he approached, he could hear the argument in progress:

"She's the mission commander-"

"Don't tell me what she is, Zelonk, I know perfectly well what she is-"

"It's Zelenka, for the final time! All I'm saying is that as such, she has the right to do what she pleases."

"It would be nice if 'what she pleased' did not include going around my highly delicate work topless!"

John jerked to a stop in the hall, causing Dr. Esposito to jam into the back of him. He apologized to her on autopilot as his brain tried to process what he'd just heard. Elizabeth? Topless? What? He had to get to the bottom of this. Sheppard set off for the lab with renewed intensity. The continued argument was not very reassuring:

"Like just this morning, she was in here reviewing some work. No top! Again!"

"Shocking."

"I asked her to put one on. Politely! I asked politely!"

Someone snorted disbelievingly and Sheppard could practically hear McKay's eyes rolling.

"Well, I did. And do you know what she said?"

"What did she say?"

"She said no!" Rodney exclaimed as Sheppard rounded the door into the lab. McKay turned to him and went on as if John had been standing there forever. "She said she prefers it that way. Well I don't!"

Suddenly McKay's eyes focused on something behind John and he howled, "SEE? Doing it again!" Sheppard knew, he just knew, that a topless Elizabeth was standing behind him. He couldn't look. He had to look. Slowly, Sheppard rotated his head to see what was behind him.

Elizabeth Weir was standing there, fully clothed, with a topless coffee mug in her hand. She was smirking. John almost fainted in relief.

* * *

**3. Off-world**

Elizabeth Weir sat in a hut, surrounded by a dozen native children, telling them a story. She loved the way their eyes lit up when she talked and how they leaned forward to catch every word. The negotiations for supplies and aid from this tribe had, after almost three weeks, been completed yesterday, so it was just a matter of waiting on Sheppard's team to come and escort her back. Elizabeth couldn't think of a better way to spend the rest of her time here than to get to know their new allies. She missed having children around that she could enjoy; children she didn't have to worry about falling off her city.

Her head came up sharply at the noise of the stargate activating. She smiled down at the kids. "I'm sorry, I have to go. My friends are here." They groaned in unison, but tagged along happily as she rose and went to meet Major Sheppard at the gate.

Elizabeth waved brightly as the gate came into view, with Sheppard's team on the steps in front of it. John, in the lead, started to wave back. Then his jaw dropped. Behind him, Teyla blinked, Aiden paled dangerously, and Rodney was speechless. That was when Weir knew something was wrong. She glanced quickly around, assessing the area. No obvious threats...

She went to Sheppard's side and asked urgently, "Major, what's going on, what's wrong?" Sheppard just gaped at her, his eyes darting from her chest to her face and back again. Suddenly Elizabeth knew with an earth-shattering certainty what the problem was. She also knew that she was going to die of embarrassment.

In this tribe, it was considered sacrilege for women to wear clothing covering the upper half of their bodies. For weeks as she negotiated with these people, Elizabeth had been forced to go topless. At first it had been awkward, but she had eventually gotten used to it. A bit too used to it, it seemed. Turning, she fled back to the village to retrieve her jacket. She was never going to hear the end of this one.

* * *

**4. Walk-in**

Elizabeth Weir walked into her quarters and immediately collapsed onto the bed. She looked around her quarters lazily. She hadn't set foot in here for what seemed like years, but was really only three days. Crisis after crisis with barely enough time for food and rest in between, that was life on Atlantis for you.

Elizabeth groaned and heaved herself to a sitting position. She slowly shucked her jacket and shirt, throwing them carelessly to the floor. Normally she would have folded them neatly and put them into the laundry, but right now all she wanted was a shower and bed. She reached back and undid the clasp of her bra.

Suddenly her door slid open, of its own accord. She looked up to see a passing John Sheppard goggling at her state of undress. They both froze for a minute, then exploded into action again. Weir grabbed for a blanket and Sheppard bolted down the hall. Elizabeth could hear him screaming for McKay.

Elizabeth wouldn't mind speaking to the scientist herself. She slapped her radio so hard it made her head ring. "Rodney, what just happened?" She jumped up and slammed the door closed again.

"What?" McKay's voice sounded muffled. She figured he must have fallen asleep on his keyboard. Tough.

"My door just opened all by itself," she said, keeping tight control of her anger.

"It- What?" He was awake now. Elizabeth tugged her shirt back on wearily and explained what had happened. "I don't know," he stammered. She could hear him typing furiously. "I must have accidentally hit the override when I fell asleep, I-"

"MCKAY!" Sheppard's voice tore over the speaker, making Elizabeth wince. "What's going on?"

"Rodney, I'm coming down," Weir told him.

"Well, hurry, I think Sheppard's about to kill me!"

"If he doesn't, I will," she promised darkly before closing the channel and stalking out of the room. No rest for the weary, it seemed.

* * *

**5. The Right Way**

Elizabeth pushed John Sheppard into the copilot's seat of the Jumper. "Take off your shirt," she ordered before going into the back to dig up a first aid kit. Somehow Sheppard had been roped into a bantos exhibition on the mainland and had taken a pretty tough beating. It was up to Elizabeth to at least get the cuts disinfected before they got back to Atlantis and let Carson look at him.

She re-entered the cockpit and found Sheppard still clothed. "Take it off," she repeated, laying out the medical kit. "I need to clean you up a little." Reluctantly he raised his arms to pull his black t-shirt off. At his wince of pain, Elizabeth came to his side and helped him tug the shirt off gently. She hissed at the cuts and bruises all over his torso. "You're pretty banged up," she commented as she started dabbing alcohol on the cuts.

"Yeah," he agreed, gritting his teeth against the sting of the disinfectant. "It seemed like a good idea at the time. Not so much right now." Elizabeth nodded in agreement and worked her way down his back. She finished and looked up to find Sheppard staring at her. "This isn't weird at all," he said dryly.

"No, it's not," she replied, unsure if she was being sarcastic or not. He looked unsure as well.

"I think the endorphins are making me a little loopy," he told her solemnly. "Because suddenly you're the hottest woman I've ever seen." He gave her that lopsided Kirk grin.

Elizabeth laughed a little breathlessly. Her rational mind instantly started babbling, _No! Bad! There is no way that a relationship with him would turn out well at all. Stop it right now. Don't even think it!_

Meanwhile, her mouth said, "Oh? Only suddenly?" And she sat down on his lap and gave him a kiss. It obviously took him by surprised, because it took a whole three seconds before he kissed her back.

They pulled apart and he said, "Well, it was a quote from a comic book, but you are hot, Doctor Weir." She inclined her head in gracious agreement, making him laugh. "Should we be...?" he asked, suddenly nervous.

Truthfully, the answer was no, they shouldn't. Elizabeth knew that. But she was tired of being alone and tired of pretending she didn't care about Sheppard that way. Tonight, she was just plain tired and she wanted John Sheppard. "I don't care," she told him firmly.

John's mouth quirked up into that saucy grin again and he plucked at her shirt. "If I had to take my shirt off, so do you. Only fair."

Elizabeth smirked at him and pulled off her red shirt. "Fair's fair," she agreed. John looked shocked that she'd agreed so easily. She kissed the stunned look off his face and he got over it quickly. Still kissing, they fell out of the chair and onto the floor.

The rest was history.


End file.
